i worry too much when i care too much.

there is this feeling I always get when I try to do something for someone. I try to not mingle with this feeling when it appears. I try not to be someone who always looks for something too further or too long ago. you when that feeling you get when you worry about something that has not happened yet. it's fucked up. 

despite that... I don't think I'm depressed, I just traumatized by what people think of me. and those feelings motivate me until the man I am today. I mean, if it drives me to be a better man, a better student, brother, son, and a friend, why not? 

if people ask why I'd feel this way, I'd answer that this is my motivation. not my bad thoughts. it drives me.

to become better... to become... a person.

the only thing that stops me from doing something is probably because I don't like doing it... maybe I'm the kinda guy that needs to express their feelings thru their interest... it's not wrong, but I don't think it's right either.

and when this interest drives me to worry about it to care about it, to concern about it. I think its good for me. don't you think? :)